There were forty-two people living in the commune. [ There was a waver in his voice. ] Forty-two, Jayce. Families. Elderly. Children. [ His voice cracked. Viktor pushed himself to keep speaking anyway, a fury and hopelessness rising up in him. ] How could I do that to them? After everything I promised? What happened to me? [ And could it happen again?
He let the resulting silence lapse. That anger still simmered in him, but it was subsiding a little the longer Jayce stayed. Shaking his head a little, Viktor finally added, ] I need to protect them from myself. I am the threat.
[ And that was really where his concerns lay. With Viktor, sometimes you needed to wait for him to eventually clear out all the other variables before arriving at the heart of the problem. ]
[ There were times that Jayce wished he had been able to stop and appreciate what Viktor had built. His mind had been fractured, his thoughts all circling the same horrible truth the mage had offered him with sad eyes and gentle hands; the reality that their dream had started to unravel the world. Hextech wasn't the miracle they had once wanted it to be.
But Viktor had tried to make something beautiful with it, and Jayce had torn it apart without ever really looking at it, and that haunted him even now. It likely always would. ]
Vitya. [ Jayce's voice was low, soothing, not an interjection but a crutch. He wanted his partner to lean on him, to take his strength for his own. I'm here, he said. I'm right here. ]
It wasn't you. [ That Jayce knew. Hearing that Viktor thought himself a threat was like a knife in his ribs, and he pressed another kiss to the top of his head. ] It was the general. Ambessa. [ The name was coated in venom. ] She wanted an army. I don't— [ His own voice cracked, and tears dripped off his eyelashes. ] It was... it was after I— After I killed you. Viktor, I'm sorry. [ She must have done something to him. Jayce never should have left him there. Jayce should have died there, too. He... ] It wasn't you.
[ It wasn't you. Viktor made a disbelieving sound. He didn't want to accept that. It was too easy to recuse himself, but people were dead. Injured. Worse. Someone had to answer for what happened, and Viktor had charged himself with the responsibility of their safety. It had to be him. He just wished he knew why. Maybe he could avoid it here. Maybe —
His quest led him astray of any trodden path.
His own shadow dissolved to darkness.
Viktor inhaled sharply with the realization, sitting up. ] Singed. [ He was staring into the middle distance, everything slotting into place. Softly, stunned, ] He was someone from my past. They came for Vander. They wanted to use him for their own ends, to turn him into a — [ Weapon.
Oh. ]
Jayce. [ Turning to gently grab his partner's face, Viktor's own expression was cracked open with vulnerability and relief. ] You were right. [ And Gods, he felt overwhelmed with gratitude, so much that his vision swam. ] You were right, [ he repeated, because he needed this, he needed him, and he brought their foreheads together, breath shuddering out of him. ] Thank you.
[ Singed. Vander. Neither name meant anything to Jayce. What did matter was the lines of Viktor's face, the downturned corners of his mouth, the furrow in his brow. If this person from his past—the same person, Jayce suspected, was the one his partner had gone to the day of the blockade—had done this to Viktor, Jayce would never forgive them.
Before Jayce could slide any deeper into that darkness, Viktor's fingers were on his jaw and warmth flooded through him. Instinctively, he reached up to cradle his partner's jaw in his hands, heart squeezing at the expression that softened Viktor's features. ] Viktor. [ Leaning in, Jayce brushed the tips of their noses as he rested his forehead against Viktor's, thumb idly caressing his cheekbone. Relief crashed over him, too, and his shoulders sagged just a little. ] Telling me I'm right twice in one day? [ His tone was all teasing and warm, softening as he continued. ] I've never been happier to be right, Vitya. [ Jayce tugged him closer. ] I love you.
[ A low chuckle escaped him, enjoying the way their warm breath mingled. ] Don't get used to it, [ he murmured, low and teasing, and Viktor jabbed Jayce suddenly in the side, a ruthless attempt to tickle him.
Once his whimsy had subsided, Viktor leaned in again, pressing back into Jayce's space by resting his head against his shoulder. Burying his face into his neck, he exhaled hard. ] And I love you, Jayce. [ When Viktor leaned on him now, it was with relief and gratitude, a rare sense of peace washing over him. ]
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He let the resulting silence lapse. That anger still simmered in him, but it was subsiding a little the longer Jayce stayed. Shaking his head a little, Viktor finally added, ] I need to protect them from myself. I am the threat.
[ And that was really where his concerns lay. With Viktor, sometimes you needed to wait for him to eventually clear out all the other variables before arriving at the heart of the problem. ]
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But Viktor had tried to make something beautiful with it, and Jayce had torn it apart without ever really looking at it, and that haunted him even now. It likely always would. ]
Vitya. [ Jayce's voice was low, soothing, not an interjection but a crutch. He wanted his partner to lean on him, to take his strength for his own. I'm here, he said. I'm right here. ]
It wasn't you. [ That Jayce knew. Hearing that Viktor thought himself a threat was like a knife in his ribs, and he pressed another kiss to the top of his head. ] It was the general. Ambessa. [ The name was coated in venom. ] She wanted an army. I don't— [ His own voice cracked, and tears dripped off his eyelashes. ] It was... it was after I— After I killed you. Viktor, I'm sorry. [ She must have done something to him. Jayce never should have left him there. Jayce should have died there, too. He... ] It wasn't you.
no subject
His quest led him astray of any trodden path.
His own shadow dissolved to darkness.
Viktor inhaled sharply with the realization, sitting up. ] Singed. [ He was staring into the middle distance, everything slotting into place. Softly, stunned, ] He was someone from my past. They came for Vander. They wanted to use him for their own ends, to turn him into a — [ Weapon.
Oh. ]
Jayce. [ Turning to gently grab his partner's face, Viktor's own expression was cracked open with vulnerability and relief. ] You were right. [ And Gods, he felt overwhelmed with gratitude, so much that his vision swam. ] You were right, [ he repeated, because he needed this, he needed him, and he brought their foreheads together, breath shuddering out of him. ] Thank you.
no subject
Before Jayce could slide any deeper into that darkness, Viktor's fingers were on his jaw and warmth flooded through him. Instinctively, he reached up to cradle his partner's jaw in his hands, heart squeezing at the expression that softened Viktor's features. ] Viktor. [ Leaning in, Jayce brushed the tips of their noses as he rested his forehead against Viktor's, thumb idly caressing his cheekbone. Relief crashed over him, too, and his shoulders sagged just a little. ] Telling me I'm right twice in one day? [ His tone was all teasing and warm, softening as he continued. ] I've never been happier to be right, Vitya. [ Jayce tugged him closer. ] I love you.
no subject
Once his whimsy had subsided, Viktor leaned in again, pressing back into Jayce's space by resting his head against his shoulder. Burying his face into his neck, he exhaled hard. ] And I love you, Jayce. [ When Viktor leaned on him now, it was with relief and gratitude, a rare sense of peace washing over him. ]